In church we churchy people can represent ourselves well, when need be. We know the lingo. We know how to strut ourselves before others. Picture it. Sunday morning arrives we chauffeur ourselves up to the church in a prestigious looking car. Step onto the pavement wearing slim Calvin Klein Jeans and black leather boots, while sporting a scent of Tommy Girl. We think we’ve arrived. No one ever looks at us and wonders what is wrong with our lives. Of course not. Because as I said, we represent well.

The question is do we really? What are we really relying upon? Are we really God followers or are we followers of other gods? What are the secret idols we as Christians have at home? Behind closed doors? What are those things we cling tighter to than anything else? What brings us contentment? These days things could be named such as social media, the approval or the attention of others with what they say and think of us, our jobs, where we live or what we drive; which goes along with possessions, and money. Or do we find our approval from God is enough? What things do we jump into the bed at night with on our minds or in our hearts? What are we reaching for the most in our lives, during good times and bad? I’ll let you name those items. That fact is we all have them. The question is are we aware of them?

Written again and again throughout the Old Testament are scenarios where God declared to His people: ‘I am the Lord your God who rescued you out of Egypt.’ The people responded with belief in Him and sang His praise but it wasn’t too long before they forsook him for other things that brought pleasure. They would forget His works. As they lusted after other things that took the place of Him, often they wandered in the wilderness. And as a result, God would send a leanness to their souls. It wouldn’t be too long before an enemy would rise up against them and they would once again be calling out to God for help.

Isaiah wrote in chapter 25: 1:

O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you; I will praise your name, for you have done wonderful things, plans formed of old, faithful and sure (ESV).

As my husband was reading out loud this chapter in Isaiah recently, a question arose within me. ‘Is God is my God or just a god?’ There better be nothing in my life I look to for approval or contentment more then Him. Everyone else in this life will disappoint me but my God will never fail me. God does not hold human expectations over my head, like others do. I am where I am right now. And that’s ok. God is my hope. God is my strength. God is my Shepherd. I am trying my best to pursue Him. And I fail everyday yet He leads and guides me and gives me grace to try again. Sometimes He lets me have it with His big shepherd stick to guide and correct me. He lets me know when He is pleased with me and when He is not.

Sometimes, I admit I feel the pressure others put on me with their expectations. Put it to ya like this: I am 35 years of age and have been married for ten years. People my age have kids. I don’t. People wonder why I don’t. Even family and close friends have those expectations of me from a distance. It may go unsaid but it does not go unnoticed. Sometimes I can feel it more then other times. And sometimes it bothers me but other times I brush it off.

I am someone who really likes to be prepared. I am not sure that I’ll ever feel prepared to have kids. It’s not out of mismanagement or lack of discipline that I believe I feel that way. It’s just a responsibility that I don’t want to mess up. I need to feel more prepared. But really are you ever prepared? It’s a life you’re raising. It’s a big responsibility that I don’t want to take lightly. Does that make me any less important? No. Not to God. And that’s what matters and in the end that’s who counts. If God is really my God then He’s the only one I’m aiming to please. If I please others along the way that’s a blessing too.

Turn on the news and who are they talking about? A movie star whose performance in a movie or a song is unmatched or a college athlete beating the record of someone else. Log onto facebook and whats the talk of your feed? Everyone’s best news. Pictures of where they are on vacation, a new house, a new car, a new kid etc.. On television there are several reality shows aimed at lifting people up as they prove they are better at something than someone else. I wonder how often this is what the church practices as well?

Whatever the case, if I’m looking at what God thinks about me that’s all that matters. I will never live up to anyone else’s expectations of me. God is God and that is it. Behind closed doors or out in public I will never be ashamed to say that. I surely hope nothing or nobody has the top place in my heart reserved only for God.

What about you? What are those secret idols in your life? That you pretend aren’t there? You shove them behind the door, under the bed, or in a closet to hide but when it comes down to truth about it you cling tightly to them?

God is a jealous God. Now who or what will you serve today?

Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man who makes the Lord his refuge and trust, and turns not to the proud or to followers of false gods (Is 40:4, AMP).

A Life Redone: My Journey to a Life of Freedom

Deliverance. Freedom. What do those words make you think of? In what instances do you think they apply in your life? And how do we see them play out in every day life? I think sometimes God chooses to miraculously deliver us from bondage in our lives. Other times though God chooses to lead us through a difficult path to find freedom. Why does He do that? The answer can be found in the Bible.

Often in the Bible the modern day church is a reflection of the Israelites. In the Old Testament book of Exodus there is a good example of the them escaping bondage. It was no easy task for them to walk out of Egypt. And sometimes it can be the same for us as well. It’s possible that if God chose the easier path for Israelites to escape from the snare of bondage then when threatened by war or some other kind of battle they might have been tempted to run back to “Egypt” for fear. The same is also true for us.

I know when God initially miraculously delivered me from my bondage 17 years ago it was not by way of an easy stroll out of Egypt. It was in an instant that I was pulled out of my pit but it was also by traveling the long, hard road through the wilderness that He redeemed me and really changed my heart. God reached down his Hand and literally plucked me out of a deep pit but the consequences I dealt with after, consisted of many long, tough years. I think if my journey out had not been so trying there may have been times in my journey forward that I might’ve chosen to head back into “Egypt”. The truth is, the journey out was extremely long and hard, and there were times I looked for the easy way out. I did face times where I made the wrong decisions in my journey out that could’ve sent me back into the grip of Satan. However, in the midst of those trying days, when I remembered what I’d been through to even get as far as I’d gotten, that pushed me on to repent and continue forward in my journey. That journey took me from being overcome when facing some big GIANTS, to overcoming them and finding true freedom.

God chose in Exodus 13:17 to rescue people from Egypt not via an easy route, crossing through a nearby land, but by way of the Red Sea. The harder path was an impossible act that had God’s hand not parted the waters it would’ve never been successful. The purpose? Could it have been so that later on, after that trial, they would remember how God got them through that hardship and instead of fleeing they’d cling to Him during rough times? In verses 14 & 16 it says God wanted them to remember that it wasn’t by the strength of their own hands that they found freedom but only by the Hand of God that they were delivered.

Kind of makes me think that’s how the Bible study I lead on Tuesday nights goes. God does not want me to take credit for someone securing freedom because of my teaching. Only by my dependence upon Him preparing for class, leading me to teach His Word will He enable me to teach women and will any come to experience that same freedom that I’ve found from my biggest enemies. The power is in God’s Word. Period.

So friend don’t be discouraged if you’re moving forward slowly out of your pit. Maybe you’re in the wilderness looking for a way out. I want to encourage you to stay the course. Keep your eyes focused on what’s ahead not looking back at what’s behind you (Phil 3:13). Remember in our weakness He is strong (2 Cor 12:9). Keep going after His Word and hanging on tight to His promises to get you through. I promise you will never regret that.

“It’s not might by might not by power but it’s by The Spirit says the Lord” (Zec 4:6).

A Life Redone: My Journey to a Life of Freedom

Whatever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely , of good report; if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things (Phil 4:8).

For those of us who are followers of Christ we really need to reflect on who or what rules our minds and our hearts. What things roam around up there; in your head and what has your heart?

Some days I have anxiety about things. A lot of times it’s about things that haven’t even happened yet.  I have a nervous habit that can really have a big part of my day if I let it. It drives me crazy. From time to time I pray about it. But usually I don’t consider that it’s an attack of the enemy. This is a strategy the devil has. He fills our minds with lies. His intent is to get us distracted from God and truth. It can also render us useless. Truth will keep us from being overwhelmed by the cares of this world. Because our thoughts will be fixed on higher things.

And as Gods Word says He is our provider, our protector, our healer. He is the owner of it all. He holds us in His hand. He knows the number of hairs on our head. He knows our thoughts from distance. Even before we speak a word He knows what we will say; if you can even wrap your mind around that thought. Nothing, no nothing can ever separate us from the love of God that us Christ Jesus.

So what thoughts are your mind mediating upon? About yourself? About others? About your circumstances? About your losses? About your gains? What truly has your heart? Do you compare yourself with others? Or do you measure your thoughts against Philippians 4:8? Join me in really mediating upon that verse.  The Psalmist said Gods Word was a lamp unto his feet and a light unto his path. So let God light a path of truth in your thoughts. Directing your attitude. Affecting your words and your actions this day.

The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth. (Ps 145:18)

A Life Redone: My Journey to a Life of Freedom

Search for wisdom as if silver or gold. Seeking wisdom is the wisest thing you can do. What is wisdom? Divine understanding and knowledge given by God Himself to you. What’s awesome about God is that He is not human. He is not a boss like you might have here on earth. He is not on some control trip, priding himself with the fact that he has more knowledge then you. He will impart understanding to you as you seek it out.  He has no favorites. He will help you to understand things in his word if you put the time in. Read. Ask the Holy Spirit for help to understand how to understand and apply the principles found in the Word to your life.

In the last 17 years my life has changed tremendously. I’ve gone from understanding nothing as a beginner in the Bible, to someone who could take it or leave it, to finally a lover of the Word that cherishes it. I really don’t know what I’d without it. I’d be such a mess if not for the grace of God. God gives me grace to read, understand and apply His Word to my life because I yearn for it and He is good.

Proverbs says to search for wisdom as you do for silver, yearn for it as for a buried fortune. Precious is the Word that is unbreakable. It is a gem to those who experience its value first-hand in their lives. A ruby or a diamond is beautiful. But the Word of God has a special charisma and power unlike nothing else.

Go after the knowledge and wisdom of God and see what it will do in your life. I guarantee if you seek after it as if it were silver it will change your life. For myself many things that held me captive, chains that held me so tight, have been broken because of God’s Word. Many things that were once stumbling blocks in my life I no longer trip over.

“She (Wisdom) cries out in the chief place of the concourse, in the openings of the gates; in the city she uttereth her words…” (Pro 1:21, KJV)

What are you letting guide your life?

What is the gate keeper of your mind and your heart?

And what are you reaping as a result of that?

Guard your heart  because everything you do flows from it (Prov 4:23).

A Life Redone: My Journey to a Life of Freedom

I learned something new last night. It was actually in regards to my name. In the past I’ve read the meaning of my name but just skimmed on by it and never pondered actually what it meant.  According to world wide web the name Laura comes from the Laurel tree or sweet bay tree. These trees are symbols of honor and victory. I honestly never knew that my name actually signifies those two words. How encouraging is that?  So when someone says, ‘don’t rest on your laurels’ they mean not to remain standing still in your past victories. Instead, keep pressing on to bigger and better things. Maybe you already knew that but it was a lesson for me.

Over the last couple of days God has been speaking to my heart. Until last weekend, I wasn’t even aware that He was. According to the Bible, God speaks in a still small voice. And yes He spoke something softly to my heart telling me I should not remain settled in my past successes but keep moving forward. For me that past success was publishing my first book in the year 2013. I sensed God uttering to my heart that yes it had been a big accomplishment for me to write a book in faith but it was just one thing He will do through me, not the only thing.

The Bible says in Genesis 12 that it was by faith Abraham was obedient to God. He packed up everything in his household, his belongings and his family, and moved to a new land. A land he did not know. He followed God’s leading in faith. I’d stood in my kitchen two nights ago looking directly at a big frame hanging on my kitchen wall with word ‘faith’ written in it. I’d bought that picture a few years ago at a garage sale. It caught my eye as I thought about where faith had brought me. I figured the picture probably came from a girls room who’s name was Faith but I didn’t care. I bought it to put up on a wall somewhere so I’d be reminded of the word faith. I really had no idea why I stood there looking at that word, but it stopped me in my tracks and suddenly it flashed me back into a memory. It took me back to the night recently when the light came on in my heart and I’d sensed God had been trying to speak to me. I realized God had been speaking a verse to me over the last couple of weeks and I haven’t stopped to notice or even to look more into it. Until one Friday night I heard the verse quoted at a movie I went to see:  A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26, AMPC, biblegateway.com).

I thought I hadn’t felt like I had a stony heart. Ya sure my life has been dry for awhile now. But everyone has dry seasons, right? And I have been seeking God on the next move while I’m waiting. I’m doing what is put before me. Doing a lot of praying and waiting. To take you back, in the past couple of years I changed the direction in which my life was going as I pursued schooling to learn a vocation in the medical field so I could get into a day job where I can make a decent living and would financially make it possible to promote my book for ministry opportunities. After finishing the schooling and testing to get certified in this field I have had a problem finding an entry level job. The more I’ve talked to people in this field the more I realize its almost impossible for me to do anything with this certificate.

I actually was hired to work in a medical office, hoping that it would lead into a job in the field of learning I’d done previously. After almost three months of working my hardest to learn that job I was fired. I have not been fired from a job in years. I am a dependable person. I never call in sick to work. I am always early to work. I am a dedicated person that can be counted on. After I had that experience, it put a really bad taste in my mouth and helped me to see that I cannot spend my life pursuing my plans to get where I want to be. Just this week, I realized I had been so focused on my plans that it got me off track to accomplish what I’d set out to do for the week.

With more time on my hands, I have recently taken on more opportunities to teach people how to learn the Word of God so they can find freedom from bondage in their lives. And I will also be frequently posting new writing on my blog after having put it down for a long season.

So as God is softening my heart I hope to be able to encourage those who read that even when God doesn’t seem present He always is. Just to remind you God is always speaking to us. Be listening for Him. Be persistent in pressing in to find Him. The Bible says in the book of James that the more we draw close to God the more He will come close to us.  To end this blog I hope you’ll watch this short clip and be reminded its never too late to start again.

A Life Redone: My Journey to a Life of Freedom

Please take a look at the opportunity I was given a couple of years ago to share my story in front of a few thousand people. I was a modern day prodigal daughter who was entangled in sin and thrown into a pit. God reached down and grabbed me out and gave me a new start to life. Take a listen and consider purchasing a book that goes more in depth. Its  full of God’s truth and can even be used as a simple Bible study tool.

http://www.theriverchurch.cc/sermons/view.php?id=4265

http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000651360