Boy if we even think we have touched the tip of understanding Who God is and really what He’s about, we need to stop and consider why we call God God. If God is God should He not do things beyond our comprehension; wonders that are mind blowing, such as healing the sick, breaking bondages in peoples lives? Do things that we can’t possibly explain? If so, why don’t we see more of this everyday? The last few months have been eye-opening to me as I’m learning about these truly glorious facets of God that only express themselves when a person is really searching in faith. I feel like I’ve been blown away. All these years after Bible College and enormous amounts of Bible study on my own and in group settings I feel like I’ve just scratched the surface. To be honest I think sometimes we try to simplify the Bible enough or pick it apart to understand it that we can really take the wonder right out of it.
I was filled with the Holy Spirit in January and during that prayer I felt a warmth on the lower portion of my back. Which God later revealed during that prayer He had touched my hips and healed them.
Tuesday night of the following week we had a meeting before the addiction ministry at church for table leaders to ask the counseling Pastor for help with any questions we might have in leading our tables. The room was totally full that night. The first question that was asked had to do with helping the people around their table get passed losing someone to death because of substance abuse. Others offered answers and the Pastor did too. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to interject by mentioning we needed to bring Him into that ministry. I told Him that He needed to speak thru me if this was something I needed to say. I put my faith Him and when I opened my mouth I could literally feel the Spirit. It felt like if you were sitting in front of me you would’ve seen Him jumping out of my chest. The power that came out of my mouth when I spoke was unexplainable. From my point of view it was beautiful like music. It was like God was breathing out of my mouth speaking HIS words. I said, ‘we have no need to watch these people die. If we are filled with the Holy Spirit we have power to cast demons out, raise the dead, break these people free from their addictions.’ Everyone in the room had their eyes intently fixed on me. They were listening as I spoke but I am afraid most of them missed what God was saying through me. Except I noticed the Pastor was watching and by the look on his face I sensed he saw something different. I don’t know what he saw because we never spoke after but I hope he heard God speak. A guy approached me afterwords and said he agreed with everything I said. We need to be filled with the Holy Spirit and bring that teaching into the addiction ministry.
At Saturday night service later that week I was given an opportunity to sing in the worship band at church. This was the second time I actually had both a microphone and ears to hear with. I went in prior to this feeling like I was missing the secret presence of God that I’d obtained at that Tuesday night meeting earlier in the week. And I really couldn’t figure out why. But I was prayed up before I went to practice before service. After practice I felt as if I had been snubbed by one or two people in the band. Whether or not I was or if it was just my inability to perform well I do not know. But I felt compelled to go by myself after practice and get in one knee and ask wthe Holy Spirit for help.
We got back on stage for worship service and I began to sing with the band. Really I didn’t feel prepared and I continued to ask the Holy Spirit to help me worship. Well He did. Right in the middle of one of the songs the Pastor jumps out on stage and began to talk. The ear piece to hear everything the band was doing was in my better ear. It had been hard to get it in so I wasn’t taking it out. I’d felt like God also told me to leave the ear piece in so I couldn’t hear.With my weaker ear I tried my hardest to listen to what he spoke.
I heard, ‘there was a girl who made some bad choices… one day she was driving in a car and came to an intersection where she couldn’t see. She went and a semi hit her car and pushed them. (This was when I covered my face, realizing he was speaking of me and I turned it to the side and started weeping). This girl was injured. She couldn’t walk, or talk. She had to relearn. And he pointed to me. Well now here she is singing.’ That’s a shortened version of what he said but about only what I heard.
The applause came and the only thing I thought to do was lift my arm up and point upwards to make it clear that ALL GLORY AND PRAISE BE TO GOD. That was when God said in my spirit ‘keep doing this for ME.’
I can’t understand the Holy Spirit. He is SUPERNATURAL in His workings . But by faith I can accept what I do understand. I have to receive the filling of the Holy Spirit, separately from my salvation. Luke 11 says ‘To ask, seek after and knock for more of God’s Spirit to be poured into our lives. The answer God gives according to Scripture is that He is a good Father and to those who continue to plead for more of the Spirit, to them more will be given.’ In the original text it was written that this plea comes from a person who sees themselves of a lessor position as compared to God. This is key to really grasping this truth. Everyday that I ask for the filling of the Holy Spirit with faith I receive a SUPERNATURAL power that is beyond my comprehension.
I am waiting. God is not through with my story. I am waiting for HIM to do something through me that is only explained by HIS POWER. That’s the answer. I can’t understand but just believe so that I can receive. Be available. And remember it’s my FAITH that fuels HIM to do the impossible in my life and to those lives He uses me in.
God revealed to me sometime after the prayer in January to receive the filling of the Holy Spirit, that 17 years ago I craved God’s Presence with such a desire that it lead me to get on my knees and plead for more. It took place in the dark on my bedroom floor. I lifted up my hands up to the ceiling and received something coming down. It went into my mouth and satisfied me. I immediately jumped into bed and in the morning, because of my lack of short-term memory, I did not remember and therefore I told no one what had happened the night before.
All these years later I connect the dots to see how the Spiritual gifts God had given me since that night have been expressed over the years and when my heart was right I have been given the privilege to use them for His glory. Such as to sharing my story in front of hundreds of people. Along with teaching, writing, mentoring, and singing. Without even understanding why my fervency for God has at times been so passionate, now I understand. It’s not me. Never has been. Never will be. It’s the Presence of God through the Holy Spirit expressing Himself in and through me as I submit to Him. As I seek God with all my heart.
I have seen God come through in my life so many times and it’s only when I put all my faith in HIM and Him alone. I’ve prayed over our cars. I’ve prayed for healing for sickness. I’ve prayed fervently about lost jobs. I’ve prayed for salvation of many and had the privilege to lead some of those to the Lord. I prayed and prayed and prayed to write my book. And in 2013 it was published. Entitled A Life Redone: My Journey to a Life if Freedom. It wasn’t me. I cannot boast. Just putting my faith in God has done those impossible things.
Learn about it. Put your faith out there to get more of God’s Spirit and see what happens. Look for a deeper revelation of WHO GOD IS and what HE wants to reveal to you in your searching.
I spent a few hours at my moms house in March after that prayer that took place in January. Mike dropped me off so he could meet with a friend. It was snowy out so he had the truck to use. I’d prayed that God would help me to speak in that conversation. That afternoon was one of the sweetest days of conversing I have ever had with mom and Keith. I shared with them my experience since being filled with the Holy Spirit and the heart revelation that God gave me. As I spoke I could feel it was the power of the Holy Spirit speaking though me. My mom and Keith also said they sensed that as well. I think they received what I said. After I finished sharing my revelation Keith spoke up and said, ‘you could write another book on just what you shared.’
One night later that week Mike and I had dinner out. I shared with him about the Holy Spirit revelation I had. After I finished he also said I could write a second book on what I’d just shared with him what happened. Shortly after that I prayed for Mike to receive the Baptism with the Holy Spirit. I felt led when we got upstairs to our bedroom to pray over him again. I felt it was a more sincere prayer and I could feel power in it.
Shortly after I began thinking that maybe this revelation was something I needed to pass onto my Pastor. I figured I’d pray and wait. Later that week I started thinking that again. That morning talking to Mike on the phone he said he’d read Mark 13 and said we needed to read it together. Verse 11 said, ‘don’t worry about what you’ll say. For it will not be you speaking but the Holy Spirit.’ It struck me as I read the passage aloud to Mike. When we got to the end of the reading we talked about it and I spoke of another verse that had spoken to me. Not mentioning verse 11. Then I prayed silently if this was Holy Spirit speaking He would tell me again. As soon as I was done praying Mike spoke up and said what about verse 11? I’m like, ok God. Ok. I’ll go.
I can’t understand the Holy Spirit. He is SUPERNATURAL in His workings . But by faith I can accept what I do understand. That is this: I receive POWER by faith. Asking for help that is beyond me. I now understand that I need to ask for a fresh filling of the SUPERNATURAL power of the Holy Spirit daily. It is beyond my comprehension. I have to receive it like a child by faith.
I am waiting. God is not through with my story. I am waiting for HIM to do something through me that is only explained by HIS POWER. That’s the answer. I can’t understand but just believe and be available to receive.
I want to challenge you to go deeper in your understanding of who God is. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you in new ways. All the different parts of Him. See if your relationship with Him gets stronger. And be ready to have your understanding of God blown up and allow Him to teach you greater things. Isaiah 55 says, ‘God’s ways are higher than our ways. His the thoughts higher than our thoughts’. Allow Him to teach you that there’s so much more to discover about Him. He waits for you to search for Him intently with all your heart to reveal more of Himself to you (Jer 29:13). Go after it like nothing else. You won’t be disappointed. You will find the ultimate satisfaction that you long for in your inner man.
Therefore let us go on and get past the elementary stage in the teachings and doctrine of Christ (the Messiah), advancing steadily toward the completeness and perfection that belong to spiritual maturity. Let us not again be laying the foundation of repentance and abandonment of dead works (dead formalism) and of the faith [by which you turned] to God, With teachings about purifying, the laying on of hands, the resurrection from the dead, and eternal judgment and punishment. [These are all matters of which you should have been fully aware long, long ago.] If indeed God permits, we will [now] proceed [to advanced teaching]. (Heb 6:1-3)
A Life Redone: My Journey to a Life of Freedom. https://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000651360
A Life Redone 